My Mental Health Journey
Trigger warning - references to mental health struggles and suicidal thoughts.
I thought for Mental Health Awareness week I’d have a lean in to sharing my own story, as a way of encouraging anyone else experiencing challenges -> to seek help.
It’s taken me a very many years to finally get comfortable talking about my own mental health experiences, especially childhood trauma from way back that I've held for a while. So if you’re reading this and you’re not there/here yet, take this as a sign that you can get there.
A lot of the past trauma I've experienced showed up in my early-mid twenties, where the anxiety, low self esteem and mental patterns were internally pretty crippling looking back. Externally this may have not looked the case. Much of this period, it felt like life was happening to me and I was holding on as best I could. Lots of self-sabotaging, missed opportunities and an inauthentic self. At the darkest time, following losing Harry, I thought about taking my own life.
Around this time I had some therapy but never really dealt with my emotional history. Scratch forwards to now, where I've been seeing a therapist weekly for around 6 months, I’ve properly begun addressing the roots - holy shit do I feel a different person. I cannot recommend seeing a professional psychotherapist enough. If you are on the edge of doing so, lean into it. If you are thinking about it, have an intro call. If you remain unsure, have several intro calls with different practitioners.
I’ve written a few lessons below from my experiences. Central to them are seeking professional help, holding yourself gently and growing courage along the journey. Reach out if you want to talk, much love.
Stan ❤️
If you find yourself stuck in a dark place, remember that it can and will change. Your emotional state is not fixed;
What you are experiencing is unique to you and it’s your journey. But you shouldn't do it alone and you are not alone;
Counselling and therapy is not lounger chairs (though some places have nice chairs), info graphics and nodes attached to your brain. It is talking;
Time with nature is an incredible way to process emotion. Outside is a naturally healthy place to experience what's inside;
Prioritising your health isn’t selfish, its vital. As a special friend once (I see you Mr Wild) - You must first look after yourself to be able to look after others;
We are all messy, complicated bags. Life ebbs and flows. Seeking support needn't be just about you surviving but also about you thriving.
